Hi, this is Chi. Good to see you here.

A few years ago I started a Study With Me channel on YouTube — a place for companions who learn, read, and share. I knew the niche was meant for students; most adults go for gaming and entertainment. But I started it anyway. I’m not good at filming or editing. I simply had one goal: to attract the right people. People who carry depth in their inner world, who insist on growing, who never surrender to the dark. The right ones don’t hang around aimlessly — they’re always between missions. And the best way to meet them is not to find them. It is to become one.

Why reading?

At a certain age, we realise society is a little different from what we were told. What school taught us is functional, not practical. We keep looking for a better education, but the best one isn’t in a classroom — it’s in your life. You see a problem, you look for a way through it. Reading isn’t about collecting more theory; the words were written by someone who actually lived those situations. Many of them are no longer on Earth — so they gathered the wisdom of a whole life and left it on the page.

Plenty of people read and find it boring. It is! No one wants to read or hear anything that has nothing to do with them — none of my business, who cares. But as you age, as you meet more people and more of their stories, the reading suddenly makes sense. When a writer describes a certain state, you can picture it, you relate to it, because you’ve been there. That’s the best part — you find someone inside a book who understands exactly what you’re going through.

Having someone who understands what it is — that is rare.

People say adults should learn to bear pressure and digest emotion. But how? Most reach for the easiest version of happiness — overeating, alcohol, porn. That isn’t digesting; it’s escaping. Most adults have only aged physically, not grown mentally. The root of pressure and emotion is that we’ve lost the compass for what is right for us. When a shoe is too big or too small, you know — you see it, you feel it’s uncomfortable. Changing to the right size isn’t an emotional decision; it’s an obvious one, based on fact. Simple. But what about when a job is selling you short, when a relationship isn’t empowering you? What are the signals then? You know something is wrong — and talk yourself into believing it’s something else.

Pain doesn’t appear overnight. It’s the daily practice of putting yourself in the wrong shoes. You haven’t noticed that you’re already overloaded.

There is too much in a life: parents, a baby, a mortgage, an intimate relationship, several social circles, colleagues, clients — everything. They aren’t separate missions; they all crowd around for attention the moment you open your eyes each morning. Everything gets handled, but only on the surface; nothing carries any depth. And in the end you forget something. You forget yourself. You own every item on that list, maybe more, and still feel unsatisfied, lonely, unhappy.

At some stage, you become the servant of your belongings. They boss you; you work for them.

This is where the stress comes in. Not because someone says you’re not good enough — but because everyone keeps telling you how great you are, urging you to go further, do more — because surely, people with ability could never feel miserable. (?) That’s where the strange dark-hole loop widens: dissatisfied → more relationships → lonely → more social circles → unhappy → another baby… on and on. By society’s maths, more belongings means more success. From the inside, you’re being consumed by something obvious and invisible at once.

In my understanding, by then it is already a situation. Nothing collapses overnight — but once it does, nothing rebuilds overnight either.

By now you may have sensed that the way to live is lighter — minimalism. Yet the moment you step back into your familiar daily environment, it flips straight back to more is more. Not because you enjoy it — but because you’ve come to rely on those things, emotionally, to reassure you that you exist. People gather around shared values, and now you want to change your value system. Do you think they’ll let you?

This is what this space is for — not a shortcut to success, not a life-changing pitch. It’s a space to sit with someone who gets to know you, sees your strengths, understands your weaknesses, and slowly connects the dots. Connecting the dots — the things that seem meaningless and scattered already carry weight in your life — they just haven’t been connected yet. The small things you questioned but let slide, the everyday spark others skip, the feeling you can’t quite name.

There’s a lot to work through in that process: the priorities, the lessons, the conversations, the stories. When you stop providing for certain people, things fall apart. Some relationships only exist because of a weakness in you that you’ve never named. Some belongings only stand for memories that no longer mean anything. Not everything will fall into place right after one talk — but you’ll untangle a little, and get one step further than last time.

Somewhere in there, you might need someone. Someone who has been through it. A conversation that keeps you grounded. A witness who understands the ache of growing up — someone to reach for when you feel miserable.

This isn’t a turbo button to do everything at once. It’s more like learning to ride a bike — someone steadying you from four wheels to two. You can’t name the day you’ll be ready — you’ll just know it when you are. And along the way, there is someone. When you fall off, there is someone. When you feel unsure, there is someone. When you drift off track, there is someone. Not every move is a win, but each one holds meaning — and there is someone to talk it through with.

Until one day, the training wheels come off — and you ride wherever you want. Freely. Happily. Own your compass.

I hope I can be riding beside you, until you don’t need me.